Flirtatious Friday: Not Tonight, Honey

“Not tonight honey.”

“I have a headache.”

“I’m just too tired.”

“Really?!?! I mean really?!?!?! You want to do what? Right now?! I just got the baby/kids down! I’ve been working all day. I’ve been cleaning ALL day! I. Am. Exhausted!”

<Say nothing, but put on full pajamas and get in bed and under covers quick. Turn away and make it obvious! If he tries ANYTHING, move further away.>

Has this ever been you? No! Not me either ;-).

Hmmm… that’s not true. Confession. One that I am not proud of! This used to be me sometimes.

I don’t remember much before Conner was born, haha, but after he was born I had much more on my mind, and guess what?! It. Wasn’t. Sex. Shocker… I know! But, that should be a sad shocker.

As a woman, I believe this is an easier trap for us to fall into. We are not wired like our husbands are wired. We do not think like them. Oftentimes, I think we fall into the victim mindset. I am tired. I am worn out. I have been busy. I didn’t get any sleep. I take care of the kids more than he does. I don’t get a break. And now HE wants sex?!?! Is he kidding?!?! Poor us right?

Several years ago, I worked with a man who was married but they did not always get along. He was upset by many of her choices and contemplated divorce often. He also had no problem pointing out attractive women. I would NEVER use him or his marriage as a standard for how marriage should look, but I remember one conversation we had very clearly.

I don’t remember how the conversation got started, but he made a comment that his wife NEVER turns him down.

What?! Really?! There are wives who NEVER turn their husbands down?!

I mean, I tried not to do it every time, but let’s be honest, I was TIRED. I would dread going to bed sometimes knowing he would probably want to have sex. Isn’t that terrible?

Maybe you are not like that and you have sex all the time ;-). Good for you! I am glad!!!

I am being honest for the women who are like how I used to be until God got a hold of me. He reminded me this was a GIFT from Him to us. To our marriage.

A GIFT?!?! Sometimes it felt more like a chore than a gift. WOW! Too honest???

And honestly, when I did decide, “Ok fine. I will do it.” I did enjoy it and think how we should really do this more.

There is no closer connection you can have with someone. It is such a deep (no pun intended… ok maybe a little haha) connection that cannot be replaced.

What does the Bible say about sex?

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have the authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7: 3-6

“Do not deprive each other.” WOW! And what was I doing?

My husband LOVES me! He works hard for this family and I recognize how much he does for us. He needs me to want him. He NEEDS me to allow him to have me. It is one of his best ways to show his love for me. And he saves it for me ONLY!

“Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

We live in a world FULL of sin. Full of pornography and addictions. Full of women who want our incredible men. Believe it or not, even if he drives you crazy, there may be some woman eyeing him.

If you deny him, does that give him the right to fall into porn or have sex with another woman? NO WAY!… BUT it will be easier to fight those temptations if he is fulfilled at home. It’s the truth.

I cannot remember when I first made the choice to never almost never turn him down, because it has been so long ago now, but it has made a big difference in our relationship! He is happy. I am happy.

I almost never go to bed dreading or worrying about if he wants to have sex. Instead I go expecting it and preparing myself. I get my mind where it needs to be. Free of the thoughts of the day. Free of the to-do lists for tomorrow. And ready to accept his offer.

Another thing that helps is that I am honest with him. I let him know some things that help me stay focused, like music. So now, when I am brushing my teeth and I hear him turn on music, I just smile and I know, he is getting ready! Little things like this help him tell me he wants to have sex and allows me to get my mind prepared. I am a woman so that is my most difficult obstacle.

Tell your husband what he can do to signal to you in advance so it doesn’t catch you off guard. Although, those quickies are fun too!

So, I just want to encourage you, if you often dread going to bed, or prepare your excuse in advance, try setting a goal to not turn your husband down. Relax and enjoy it!

I am mainly (as always) writing to the women, but I guess this could go for men too.

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Followup Results: Miscarriage Ultrasound

Have you read I.AM.TheBoyWhoCriedWolf: Multiple Miscarriages or Dropping Off Grace: Miscarriage Follow Up?

Leaving the appointment Tuesday, I made my way down the long hall. Music was playing. Reminded me of funeral music. Kind of appropriate I guess.

As I left the office Tuesday, they told me they would call tomorrow after my ultrasound to tell me the results of everything.

Fortunately, James had the day off but he stayed in the van with the boys. Coming out of the appointment all my boys were surprisingly in the lobby. They had to go potty. It was so nice to see them!

I carried on with my day after my appointment Wednesday, but I was waiting anxiously for the phone to ring.

It didn’t.

The nurse FINALLY called today with my results. HCG levels are now at 690 and progesterone at 10.4 (I was still on the pills). My sonogram pictures came back good… as in everything has come out and the lining looks good and thin. They did notice a lot of blood clots so she told me to expect a lot more and take it easy.

I’m exhausted. Understandably.

P question

I feel drained, and I’m sure the fact that I am literally draining has a lot to do with it.

Most people won’t understand, but I do feel this is a good thing. Much more has come out now than ever before. This can be good if some of what is coming out has needed to come out for a while. Also, I believe this pregnancy made it further and better than the others, so I think we are making at least some good progress.

I am looking forward to our appointment in a few weeks and finding some answers.

God is with me. He is my strength, and my wonderful husband and two beautiful boys my medicine.

Flirtatious Friday: Bringing Sexy Back

Love

  • I began working at our church… so this could cause question lol
  • Our church gained new Pastors and I wasn’t sure what they would think haha
  • And well… I guess I started shying away from intense topics such as these!

So, why did I decide to officially bring them back?

  • Well, many of my readers have missed them 😉 and requested I bring them back
  • Sex is ALL over the place, and why not talk about it in a Christian context and encourage married couples to ENJOY it! 

I remember one time, shortly after James and I got married, we went to lunch with another couple. The husband, right in front of his wife, talked about his theory that there is something in the wedding cake. He went on to explain that before marriage, women seemed excited and looking forward to the marriage bed and things to come, but then after the wedding day she seemed uninterested or motivated. 

Confession: I have been guilty of this. Guilty of being busy, tired, overwhelmed, etc. etc. etc. 

But still, this made me sad. Our husbands show their love best through sex. That may seem strange to us, but we were created differently. And aren’t we glad we were created differently?!?

I know I am! I want a man’s man! One who gets his hands dirty. Works hard for his family. Fixes things. And he NEEDS to show me he loves me! And I NEED to let him. 

So, FINE! I am bringing Flirtatious Friday back! But since you asked for it, you are going to get it. There. Will. Be. A. Challenge. It won’t be easy! 

Will you join me? What topics do you want to know more about? (you can also email responses privately to HisRibBlog@gmail.com)

Thankful Thursday: A Caring Husband

Tuesday I woke up and could tell something was coming. I told James I needed to make sure and take my echinacea, garlic and vitamin c! I wish I would remember my spoon full of honey, but oh we’ll.

By that evening I was not doing well. I wasn’t thinking straight and I was aching. It was an early to bed night for me!

I woke up a couple of hours after going to bed and I was aching all over and shaking. James got me some meds to help me feel better.

But WOW, a couple hours after that, I woke up screaming! I had this very, VERY sharp pain in my back and I was in A LOT of pain! I couldn’t move but was soooo uncomfortable! My husband quickly got up to get me some stronger meds.

I hardly ever take meds. I prefer a more natural approach in most things but this was beyond that.

He got me my heating pad and helped put it under my back. I managed to get back to sleep. Once I awoke Wednesday morning, my right arm was stiff and I could not move my head around at all.

Fortunately, it was my husband’s day off. He kindly got up with the boys and let me stay in bed ALL DAY! I couldn’t move without excruciating pain. He let me sleep and brought me food once I was ready.

How appropriate that today is Valentine’s Day! I’m so blessed with such a wonderfully caring husband. He truly takes his vows seriously. He cares for me when I am sick. In my worse. I love him more and more each day!

What are you thankful for on this Valentine’s Day?

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Touchy Topic: GOD “GETS” MEN

I am so very excited about today’s post! About a year ago I ran across this wonderful blog – Peacefulwife – and I was amazed at how much I “was” this woman. I was a feminist and so WAS she. I was am learning how to better respect my husband and submit. She has been there and has so many wonderful stories of her transformation and how great her marriage is now as a result. April has kindly written a guest post for me so please join me in welcoming her <applause>!

He understands men and women extremely well. He did create both of us, after all. And He created marriage, sex, attraction, families, masculinity and femininity. So Who better to know what it takes to make marriage work and work well?

Our culture has completely ditched God’s prescriptions for a joyful, solid, healthy marriage and has redefined masculinity, femininity and marriage to be what we want it to be. Feminism has taught us that men and women are not only “equal” – which they are of equal value in God’s sight – but that we are the “same.” There is a HUGE difference between being of equal value and being the same in spiritual/emotional/physical/sexual makeup.

So, many of us grew up never questioning that men need love just like we do. We assume they think and feel just like we do and that if we give more love, that will fix all the problems in our marriages.

Unfortunately, we have forgotten what men need in marriage, and as a result, husbands and wives are largely miserable.

SIGNS THAT A WIFE MIGHT NEED TO LOOK A BIT CLOSER AT GOD’S WAYS:

– I am angry with my husband a lot
– I am full of resentment
– I feel like I am carrying the weight of the family on my shoulders alone
– I feel like my husband is “another child”
– I constantly badmouth my husband to others and tell them how awful he is so they will sympathize with me and see what a miserable life I have and pity me
– I boss my husband around, tell him what to do, lecture him, scold him, criticize him often, roll my eyes, sigh in disgust, give him “the look” that I think he is inept and/or use the angry mama voice a lot
– I complain to and about him and argue with him often
– I have no joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness or self-control around my husband
– I am anxious, stressed and afraid in my marriage often
– I believe that if my husband “would just be more loving” or would “stop doing X” that our problems would all be solved and our marriage would be the amazing union I dreamed it would be
– I know that my husband’s sins are WAY worse than mine and HE is the problem
– I feel very lonely in my marriage
– my husband barely touches me and doesn’t seem to care about my feelings
– I have my heart set on my husband behaving a certain way and things working out a certain way and I CANNOT and WILL NOT be content or happy unless I have what I want
– I believe I am always right and my husband is always wrong
– I believe I am spiritually superior to my husband
– I believe I am a better leader than your husband
– I don’t think my husband is able to lead our family
– I don’t trust my husband
– I don’t cooperate with my husband’s ideas
– I refuse to listen to his perspective and act like his ideas are worthless
– I think if I had a more godly husband, life would be wonderful

This is not an exhaustive list – but it is a start.

WHAT DO THESE SYMPTOMS MEAN?

Well, primarily, it means that I am not filled with God’s Spirit. Either I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior if this list describes me in my marriage, or I have so grieved God’s Spirit that I have reduced His flow into my life to a trickle.

When I have God’s Spirit filling me and consuming me, I will have all the fruit of the Spirit on a daily basis: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control Galatians 5:22

If I don’t have His Spirit empowering me, I am probably cherishing sin in my heart.

The sins I cherished were:
– idolatry (of myself, of my way, of my desires, of my feelings of being loved, of expecting my husband to be Christ and be perfect and meet all my needs)
– PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE – thinking I knew best, better than my husband, and really, better than God’s Word
– unforgiveness – I couldn’t/wouldn’t/didn’t know how to forgive
– gossip – talking about my husband with bitterness

These are HUGE sins that deeply offend the heart of God. As long as I am holding onto those sins and cherishing them more than my intimacy with Christ, God will oppose me.

BEING A GODLY WIFE GOD’S WAY

To be a godly wife, I must be willing to do things God’s way. God’s design for marriage is primarily found in Ephesians 5:22-33, but also in Genesis 3, Titus 2:2-5, I Peter 3:1-6 and I Corinthians 11:3.

God designed men to need to lead in marriage. He made them to thrive on respect. That is why He commands wives to respect their husbands and submit to (willingly cooperate with) their husbands’ God-given authority (unless our husbands are asking us to sin or condone sin).

FIRST – I must decide to submit totally to Jesus Christ. I lay my whole life before Him and die to myself. I give up my dreams, my way, my will, my purposes, my wisdom, my rights, my plans and I yield fully to His control. I respect Him as LORD.

THEN – out of love and reverence for Christ, I begin to desire to obey Him in all things, even things that are culturally unacceptable, or weird, or counter-intuitive to my female, human mind.

And as I embrace His ways and obey Him – I discover that unspeakable peace and joy await me. After the pain of dying to self, there is a new, abundant life! Then God becomes my partner and empowers me to do things I can’t do on my own. He teaches me to look for the best in my husband (Philippians 4:8) and to build him up with my words, to praise what is good, to encourage him, to show faith in him. He teaches me to share my feelings with my husband in a pleasant, calm, non-threatening way. And then to trust that if my husband disagrees and decides to do something I don’t want to do, that my God is SO SOVEREIGN that He can and will lead me through my sinful, human husband in His will for His glory.

So I can’t lose! I am seeking God’s will and glory, not mine. I don’t know the way there. So I can trust that He will use all things for my good and His glory because I love Him and that even my husbands’ sin and mistakes will bring me to the place God wants me to be. So I can be at peace. I can be content no matter what my husband does or does not do – because my hope is firmly set on Christ. He is my strength and joy.

SO EMPOWERING

Husbands are drawn and attracted to our respect, trust and faith. They are repelled by our disrespect and dominating/controlling behavior. Husbands have a long list of things that speak respect and disrespect to them that most wives know nothing about! They think and feel in an entirely different way than we do. And if we can learn this new language of respect, we can meet their God-given needs and draw our men closer to us and to God.

It’s hard to look at our own sin. But that is where our power is in our relationship with God and our husbands! I CAN control me. I can’t control my husband. I can’t control God. When I focus on MY responsibilities to my husband and to God and I do it because Christ is the most important thing in my life, not to try to manipulate my husband – GOD SHOWS UP. And miracles happen!

Check out my blog at www.peacefulwife.com for more about these topics!

You Are What You Eat

surrounded

Well guess what?! This is NOT about food!

The actual title should read:

         You Are What You Eat Read

Or

         You Are What You Eat Listen To

Or

         You Are What You Eat Surround Yourself With

While I do think what we eat and put into our bodies is very important, it is not my focus today.

Have you noticed how things you read on Facebook, in a book, or things you hear people talking about, affect the way you act, talk, or your mood overall?

I notice this all the time! I have especially noticed lately. I’ve been following quite a few blogs by homeschooling moms with large families; like The Marathon Mom, Smockity Frocks, and Sacred Mommyhood. I’ve also read many of Peacefulwife’s blog posts and as always, my wonderful Above Rubies magazines!  In addition to their posts, their wonderful Facebook updates also encourage me! All this, along with daily scripture readings, have and are continuing to mold me into the woman, mother, wife, friend, and overall person I want and God wants me to be.

You know what I discovered? My attitude towards my children, my husband, and what my life was like, was being changed.

Before I surrounded myself with positive things everywhere, I would read friends posts on Facebook, and lets face it, oftentimes it was complaining

         about all the housework that HAD to be done

         the children that were nagging them

         bitterness about their husband not being home enough 

        how they needed a break from the kids and couldn’t wait to get away from this life they have

and the list goes on and on. Now, before you attack me :), I know as moms and wives we do need some me time. We do need some breaks, BUT we chose to get married and to have children, and I believe God has called us to that life, so why not make the most of it?!

So what’s my point? Is it to tell moms to stop complaining and get over it? NO!! My point is to simply show how different my life became once I surrounded myself with positive people.

Now that I am reading and seeing, DAILY, wives and moms who LOVE their lives and talk about them in a more positive way, I find myself feeling the same way. Is cleaning the house and changing poopy diapers a blast? Um not really, but is it going to be anymore fun if all I do is complain about?

I love following these wonderful women! And why? Because they talk about real life, which is not always glamorous, but can be a fun ride!

I choose to surround myself with women who act like they want their children. Who are not looking for the quickest way to get rid of them (school, day care, friends houses, etc.). We get such little time with our children (approximately 18 years of their 70-80 or so years) and it flies by! And for those who send their children away to school, they get even less time with their children. (Side note: I am NOT condemning anyone who sends their children to school, I am talking about those who CANNOT wait until they finally go back to school)

I want to make the most of this time! I want to enjoy it rather than dread it. Will I need a break in that 18 years? Yes!! But if I don’t get one should I complain and cry in my poor pathetic life? Absolutely NOT! I should figure out how to enjoy it and make it work for me! Maybe my break is after the kids go to bed, or before they get up. My breaks are my workouts, or my blog times. I choose to be creative! It is my life and I want to enjoy my children in it.

My mother-in-law is a great example of this! She is a great example of a woman who loves her kids and grandchildren. She loves staying home and taking care of her house and husband. What a wonderful example of an above rubies woman! Is she perfect? Sorry Janey… but no! None of us are, but we can choose to enjoy our lives and do what God has called us to do as women!

I also choose to surround myself with women who love and respect their husband. As I have mentioned on here before, this has not always come easy to me. As a former feminist, I came into the marriage a bit dominating. I held “old fashion” views on being a wife and mom, but did not exactly want to do them. The women I learn from, respect their husbands. They are true examples of helpmates! I want to be a Proverbs 31 woman! I want to be a Titus 2 woman! What better way to do this than to learn and surround myself with great examples of these.

The Bible gives clear direction that as young moms and wives we are to learn from those ahead of us. I want to learn from those being led by God and setting a good example of what I want to be. I DO NOT have time, or want to waste my time, on those who insist on being negative and live in bitterness and resentment. I CHOOSE because it is that, a CHOICE! I am what I surround myself with!

What do you surround yourself with?

A Former Feminist

When I started this journey a year ago, I knew God wanted to work on me. He had already been working on me as a wife and mother, but WOW! In this last year, I feel He has really laid some true convictions on my heart.

As a former feminist, I look back and cannot believe my thoughts, my actions, my “right” to control and do whatever I wanted. I had a need to prove I could do everything just as good if not better, and by golly, we are EQUAL! Wow, even writing that now I chuckle!

*OK, so I guess I should warn you… I am about to step on some toes… I am about to be brutally honest… I am about to speak my heart, through ideas and thoughts (and many of His words) that I truly believe come from God… you have been warned 🙂 and you may disagree and you are free to do so*

I have since learned, it is not about “Are we created equal?” Our purposes are DIFFERENT! This is evident in our nature. Women have more compassion, they long to care for and love. Men are strong and desire to provide.

Over the last many, many years, women have worked hard to “prove” ourselves, and show we can do what men can do. Yes we can and hear us roar! WHO CARES!?! What has this done to our society? What has come about because of these actions? We see it all over our televisions, our movies, in our music. Men are no longer strong and powerful, they are stupid and pathetic. They can’t think or make any decisions without a woman telling them how it should be. Women are degrading and rude. They speak their mind with little to no consequence and could care less. How sad! This is a sad world to live in. I know. I’ve been there.

Why won’t he lead? Why can’t he think of this and that? What is wrong with him? I was so right and he was clearly so wrong. Why doesn’t he just listen to ME? SELFISH!!! Sad. Lonely. Angry.

Then God got ahold of my heart and began to change ME! Not him. He began to show ME what society had convinced me of about how a woman should act and be. Then he started showing me how a wife treats her husband. You know? The wife that is above rubies! He began to show ME how to respect and respond.

All this time I thought he needed to change, but it was ME! I began exploring and learning to become a better wife and mother. I realized I had to trust God and let go. I quit my teaching job to take care of my husband, home, and children.

*I have since started working a part-time job that allows me to bring my children with me, but have felt some convictions over this decision so I have stopped writing until now… due to time also.*

Once I started blogging, I discovered another blogger, PeacefulWife. She too had to go through this difficult journey, and she is way ahead of me, but I am coming along. I have changed. God has changed me.

Reading through many of her posts, I struggle with my old self, the feminist in me, screaming “NO! I cannot do that! He needs to change. He needs to “this;” he needs to “that.” ME. ME. ME. I am equal. Those rules and roles don’t apply to us now. We are in the twenty-first century for goodness sakes! Get with the times.” At these times, the Holy Spirit calms my heart and reminds me His purpose for my life. He reminds me that it is not about me. It never was. In fact, it’s not even really about my husband. It’s about Christ and what He wants to do through me. I must prepare myself to be used my Him.

He created me as a helpmate. I can hinder my husband from doing God’s work, and push him down, make him feel like less of a man, or I can make him stronger and help him as we do God’s work together.

I am far from the end of my journey, and I still have much to learn, but at least I am changing! So many women are not, and it makes me sad for them because it is so much better on this side! And NOT just for the husband 🙂

What hard lesson did you have to learn? Did you have to change your worldly nature?

Flirtatious Friday: Choosing TV Over Sex

I would never choose TV over sex!

So maybe it isn’t always TV. Maybe it’s reading, writing, crafting, sewing, etc. And maybe you are not specifically choosing that over sex, I didn’t think I was.

James and I enjoy staying up and watching our favorite TV shows before bed. We are night owls, so we stay up too late. I would often find myself “too” tired when we finally got in bed.

Then I started thinking about it… I am choosing TV over sex. If I am willing to lose sleep to watch our show, or do whatever activity I enjoy, I should also be willing to strengthen our marriage through our own special connection.

Our husbands show us their love through sex. It is a bond we have with no one else, and a great way to truly connect and bond with them! We should be willing to give up just about everything to strengthen our marriage. Sex holds such a strong importance in a marriage and can build up the relationship or tear it down.

Women tend to be more willing to put sex off if they are too tired or too busy. I believe this is a huge shame, that I too fail at often. My husband needs me to connect with him and believe it or not I NEED him in this way too.

When I let myself go and relax, and allow us to connect, I feel recharged. I feel empowered as a wife. I feel as though I satisfied my husband and that I am taking care of him. I feel loved. I am the only one that can and should connect with him like this, and that makes it more special.

God created this amazing gift for us, and I need to relax and enjoy it! I need to stop over thinking. Stop thinking, “but it’s so late. I need sleep and rest. Can’t we do it tomorrow? We will go to bed earlier and make it happen. I promise.”

Give in ladies! It’s worth it! Especially when you set your mind to do it and enjoy it! It’s way better than going in with the “fine, I’ll do it” attitude. Think about how he is expressing his love for you in this manner. He loves you so much and what a powerful way to show you. Watch him and think about it. It really is amazing!

Flirtatious Friday: Let’s Talk About Sex

Marriage

OK, so I thought I would share with you why I find it so important to talk about sex. I know many Christians who say that it is private and we should not talk about the subject, but guess what folks, everyone else is talking about it.

During our Marriage Encounter weekend, James and I talked about how we want our children to learn about sex from us. We want them to know it is a good thing, not something to fear or hand out loosely. We want them to know the importance of having one partner and how special that is to the relationship. We want them to learn the truth about sex, and not what they see on TV or in the movies.

The world around us has sex plastered EVERYWHERE! It is hard to look anywhere and not see sex posted or talked about. Innuendos are placed in kids’ movies and shows. So as Christians, shouldn’t we avoid the discussion so we stand out and are different? NO WAY! Why?!?!

God’s Word openly talks about sex as a wonderful and amazing gift for married couples! Youth in the church often hear about sex, but only to say don’t do it, you have to wait, that’s not for you. So then what happens? They get married and it’s difficult to then just get over that voice of no in their head. Well maybe not so much for the men 😉 but as a female I know it was something I had to overcome.

Anyway, I feel that as Christians we need to step it up and talk about how great it is… in a heterosexual MARRIED relationship… and stop being so hush-hush about it. The Bible talks about it, why can’t we?

I’m not saying we need to talk specific details with one another on a regular basis, I am simply saying we should be talking about how great it is and tips to make it the best. Our youth need to know it will be something they can enjoy one day, and how great it is rather than shoving down their throat not to do it all the time. Also, this encourages women to enjoy having sex with their husbands, because it is OK. I know that seems like a funny thought, but it’s true… many women feel what they are doing is wrong because it’s usually seen as slutty.

With pornography all over the place, it is easy, especially as a woman, to see certain acts as wrong or disgusting, but we must move past this. We must encourage one another and remind ourselves that within marriage the options are almost endless.

God is amazing and has given us such a wonderful gift. What a great way for us to show our love to one another and grow closer to each other.

What are you thoughts on talking about sex?

Flirtatious Friday: Toys

Well, here you go folks! I am laying it all out here 😉 I will do my best to not go into too much detail about us, but more of just the many options you have out there. I will tell you, I have my favorites!

OK, so as we begin, let me start with my purpose. I believe marriage is the most important relationship we can have on Earth and sex is a very important part of that relationship, for both the husband and the wife. Toys add variety, fun, and excitement, but only if both people are open to it and feel comfortable. Give it a try and don’t be afraid of new and different, but don’t push it on him if he is not ready. Also, make sure your husband understands the toys are not to replace him or because he does not satisfy you, they are only there to enhance the experience.

*Websites I list may have toys, pictures, and other material that I DO NOT condone. Please understand I am only listing them as a resource. 

Right before James I married, my girlfriends and I went to Condom Sense. Wow! We were in for a shock and had no idea what to expect. We were planning “fun parties” and planning for our own honeymoons. We wanted to make it special! We looked past the super vulgar items, and the items encouraging homosexuality, and found the fun in toys! Since being married, I’ve also been to Sara’s Secret and Cindie’s.

Bring on the toys…

The Screaming O Disposable Cockring

 Cockring:

One of the cheapest and easiest toys to start with. Don’t forget the bullet to go inside. It goes over your husband and slides up to the top. As he is inside of you, the vibrations are there for your extra pleasure. It also helps your husband “last” longer. The bullet goes in the pocket at the top, if there is a pocket. There are many different types of rings as well as bullets. Find what you like best and enjoy!

 Lelo – Mia:

Lelo is a brand with many awesome vibrators, but this is one we own and love!! These are fun as teasers, use for foreplay, or as a supplement.

OK, so I do not have this YET, but it is on my wish list now! A friend of mine highly recommends it and said she found it on sale half price. I will be on the lookout now! It apparently works best during sex, so it allows for all the wonderful pleasures during intercourse. I am looking forward to learning and discovering more with this toy!

 There are SOOOO many other things out there. Way too many to mention, so check out the websites, or be daring and go to a store on your next date night, or surprise him with something fun!

Call the stores and find out if they have girl’s nights. They have food, tips, and discounts! Ask questions; don’t be afraid!

Do you have a favorite toy? Want to share, but don’t want to reveal who you are… email it to me HisRibBlog@gmail.com and I will share it anonymously for you!