She Brings Him Good, Not Harm

“Finally, the kids are back in school!” A phrase I hear too often.

Don’t get me wrong, as a mom, I understand needing a break and some me time, but really?!?! Do you not enjoy your children? It’s a mindset. What are you telling yourself?

God tells us, in His word, that motherhood is a blessing. Children are a gift from God. What a joy they are!

Now, I know what you are thinking: “Yes, but you don’t have teenagers. Just wait.” Or, “You don’t have MY child who struggles with such and such.”

I understand that my children are still very young, but I too have my moments of needing to get away. Having said that, I enjoy being with them! I believe it is important to love on your children and show them the joy you get when they are around. If all they hear or know is that you cannot wait to get away from them, how sad! No wonder they don’t want to be with you… wait what?!?!

Maybe this is too touchy of a topic. Have I lost you now? My goal isn’t to upset, but rather remind you to enjoy your time with them. If this is difficult, give it to God.

“Can you believe my husband did this, or doesn’t do that?” Have I been guilty of this? YES! This is for ME!

I first started working after Conner was born, in part, because I didn’t think I could handle being home with him ALL day! Changing diapers, feeding, redressing him… over and over again… each time he spit up, bathing, etc. etc. etc.

What about taking care of my home and being there for my husband too?

Yup! I didn’t want all that responsibility alone. He needs to help! (And yes, husbands do need to pitch in too, but…) If I was working, then clearly I couldn’t do everything. It really became a bit of an excuse for me. Working meant I was too tired to cook and clean all the time. If I started feeling guilty I would justify it by the fact that I worked hard and long hours. Teaching takes a lot out of me!

God started convicting me about how I was being as a wife, a mom, a woman. What defined me? My job, my ministry at church, oh and of course, my family.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my family and I did give them a lot, but I was stretched way too far and was avoiding what I needed to be doing at home.

OH NO! I’m telling my secrets!!! I should stop!

I remember reading an article one time (I don’t remember where or I would post it here) about a wife/mom who felt guilty about not doing enough for her family because she was so involved in the ministry.

Proverbs 31

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

I know we have read it before, but I enjoy reading through it and praying God will speak to me as a wife and mom!

My husband and I love our church, and love the ministry we serve there, but what truly is MY ministry? My family!!! It’s how I take care of my husband. It’s how I train up my children.

When my husband is happy, he will be a stronger man in his workplace. He will want to come home! He will want to help around the house. It is my goal (although I fail weekly) to bring joy to him. I want him to want to be around me. I am NO WHERE near the perfect wife! Remember, this is for ME! If the house is in order, if there is good food to eat, if his children are loved and taken care of, he will want to be home!

When my children are happy and being taught correctly, they will go out in to the world and spread that joy and love. They will set the example where they are. They will WANT to come home! Wait… huh?!? I truly believe this! If I make my home a comfortable, safe place for my children, they will bring their friends to our house!

God has called me to a high calling. A wife! A mom! I can only pray that I am up for the task and that He will give me strength and guide me along the way. He knows I’m far from perfect, but He’s not called me to perfectionism, He’s called me to “love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God (Titus 2:4-5).”

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4 thoughts on “She Brings Him Good, Not Harm

  1. If I am not mistaken, one theme in the last part of this blog post is that of making the husband and children happy. I think the excerpt from Psalms; however, has the underlying theme that the woman/wife is not dependent on feelings and actions of her husband and children for her life and happiness. The woman makes, buys, trades etc because she knows that those things are the best things for herself and her household (including husband). In addition, the writer does not use emotional words and does not address happiness at all. The author instead chooses words such as “confidence,” “praise,” “call her blessed,” “respect,” and “honor” to indicate how others should respond to this type of woman. There is no mention of the woman deriving happiness from making others happy. At best one could deduce that the woman derives happiness from having a well managed household, business, philanthropic and social endeavors.

    Off the topic of the woman, the passage seems to say just as much about how a husband and children should respond/be as it does what a woman should do. All the pressure is not on the woman like you say the husband needs to pitch in also. I also would like to emphasis the “should” nature of the passage. It seems to describe an ideal situation where people are responding as the should to this type of woman. In the real world, one may be the type of woman described in the passge but not everyone (including husband and children) will respond as they should.

  2. Pingback: Can You Be a Feminist and Still Be a Godly Woman? | His Rib

  3. Pingback: You Are What You Eat | His Rib

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