When I started this journey a year ago, I knew God wanted to work on me. He had already been working on me as a wife and mother, but WOW! In this last year, I feel He has really laid some true convictions on my heart.
As a former feminist, I look back and cannot believe my thoughts, my actions, my “right” to control and do whatever I wanted. I had a need to prove I could do everything just as good if not better, and by golly, we are EQUAL! Wow, even writing that now I chuckle!
*OK, so I guess I should warn you… I am about to step on some toes… I am about to be brutally honest… I am about to speak my heart, through ideas and thoughts (and many of His words) that I truly believe come from God… you have been warned 🙂 and you may disagree and you are free to do so*
I have since learned, it is not about “Are we created equal?” Our purposes are DIFFERENT! This is evident in our nature. Women have more compassion, they long to care for and love. Men are strong and desire to provide.
Over the last many, many years, women have worked hard to “prove” ourselves, and show we can do what men can do. Yes we can and hear us roar! WHO CARES!?! What has this done to our society? What has come about because of these actions? We see it all over our televisions, our movies, in our music. Men are no longer strong and powerful, they are stupid and pathetic. They can’t think or make any decisions without a woman telling them how it should be. Women are degrading and rude. They speak their mind with little to no consequence and could care less. How sad! This is a sad world to live in. I know. I’ve been there.
Why won’t he lead? Why can’t he think of this and that? What is wrong with him? I was so right and he was clearly so wrong. Why doesn’t he just listen to ME? SELFISH!!! Sad. Lonely. Angry.
Then God got ahold of my heart and began to change ME! Not him. He began to show ME what society had convinced me of about how a woman should act and be. Then he started showing me how a wife treats her husband. You know? The wife that is above rubies! He began to show ME how to respect and respond.
All this time I thought he needed to change, but it was ME! I began exploring and learning to become a better wife and mother. I realized I had to trust God and let go. I quit my teaching job to take care of my husband, home, and children.
*I have since started working a part-time job that allows me to bring my children with me, but have felt some convictions over this decision so I have stopped writing until now… due to time also.*
Once I started blogging, I discovered another blogger, PeacefulWife. She too had to go through this difficult journey, and she is way ahead of me, but I am coming along. I have changed. God has changed me.
Reading through many of her posts, I struggle with my old self, the feminist in me, screaming “NO! I cannot do that! He needs to change. He needs to “this;” he needs to “that.” ME. ME. ME. I am equal. Those rules and roles don’t apply to us now. We are in the twenty-first century for goodness sakes! Get with the times.” At these times, the Holy Spirit calms my heart and reminds me His purpose for my life. He reminds me that it is not about me. It never was. In fact, it’s not even really about my husband. It’s about Christ and what He wants to do through me. I must prepare myself to be used my Him.
He created me as a helpmate. I can hinder my husband from doing God’s work, and push him down, make him feel like less of a man, or I can make him stronger and help him as we do God’s work together.
I am far from the end of my journey, and I still have much to learn, but at least I am changing! So many women are not, and it makes me sad for them because it is so much better on this side! And NOT just for the husband 🙂
What hard lesson did you have to learn? Did you have to change your worldly nature?