Desperate for God

These last few weeks have been trying on me. I have tried to stay strong in my faith, but I have felt angry towards God and distant.

I believe God is a big God! He can handle my anger and distrust in Him. I am only human in my feelings. He wants me to tell Him how I feel. No point it hiding what He already knows ;-).

Through all of this, I know God is still there. I know He is guiding me and providing for my family!

Over the weeks, I have been crying out to God.

Where are you? What do I do? Who can I trust? I feel betrayed. By you. By friends. I need you. Where are you?”

My wonderful Papa (Horrell) passed away last May, and I was introduced to a song, Blessings by Laura Story. At the time, I didn’t pay close attention to the words and what they say to me. Maybe that was because I NEEDED the specific song in my life now. I NEEDED to pay close attention to the words now. I enjoyed the song then, but now I have truly heard what it was saying.

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights 
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Wow! It was exactly what I needed to hear.

Today I heard Breathe on the radio. An old, but good song.

I’m lost without you. I’m desperate for you.”

It spoke to how I have been feeling. God knows we are lost without Him and need Him desperately. I am lost without Him. I am desperate for Him. He too is desperate for me. What a great feeling! He wants me and hears me.

Despite the trials I have been faced with the last few weeks, God has been faithful and provided for our family. We have been blessed financially the last few weeks. How amazing our God is! It has been hard, but wow, He has gone above and beyond to show us He is faithful!

We must hang on to Him even when He feels so far away.

Thank you God for being there with me, even when I felt like you were not. Thank you for watching over my family, even when I was angry with you. Thank you for trusting me with your work, even when I wasn’t trusting you. Thank you.”

How has God shown you His presence when you feel like He is so far away? 

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6 thoughts on “Desperate for God

  1. Because his spirit is within me it is dificult for to me to go very long without desiring to talk with him or read the Bible etc. That is how I know he is close even when I feel angry with him or feel like he is far away.

  2. Pingback: Blessings « ~♥~ Faith's Updates ~♥~

  3. Pingback: Touchy Topic: Pro – It Is Not Your Choice | His Rib

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