So I was on a roll with my blogs. Loving life. Loving blog life. Then, BAM!!!! Mastitis 😐
I’ve never had mastitis before. Conner was nursed over 14 months, and Elias now over 11 months (so far). My right side has always been my worst side. Burning, stinging, cracking, bleeding, severe pain while nursing here and there, I was used to that and knew how to handle these situations. Frustrating and painful? YES! But this?
Well… there are just no words. Which is why I have been at a loss for words until now. I have missed y’all and thought of things to write, but could not get the words out. I will write more on mastitis later. I’m still on the end of it, so I have not overcome it yet.”
Having said all that, moving on for now…
As strong women. Wives. Moms. We all need rest, relaxation, time to meditate, time to recharge, time to just be us! My husband blessed me with this last night! After he showered, he prepared an Epsom salt bath for me.
I am so blessed with an amazing and supportive husband!”
As I sank in, it hit me immediately. Ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! This is EXACTLY what I needed–I am certain more so than usual, seeing as I have felt terribly ill and miserable for days. When James comes home and allows me to shower quickly, even just 15 minutes, without the kids around, wow! I feel such an energy. This was exactly that and more.
As I looked around, he had thought of everything.
My fancy soaps: foot scrubs, body washes, lotions. You remember these (maybe ;-)): the kind gifts your friends/family give you, or that you naively buy, thinking, I will make time to pamper myself regularly.
My bath mat. The one I bought a couple of years ago to take wonderfully relaxing baths in regularly. You know: the one that still had the tags on it and was just thrown up on the window sill above the tub.
A rag, a fresh new razor, and my clean dry towel hanging up waiting for me. He’s so sweet and thoughtful!
I had time to… do nothing, think of nothing. Busy moms… I had time to shave! I don’t mean, “shave” while I am rushing through my shower as I am watching children outside the shower door, or rushing because I need to get out to check on them. I mean like close, smooth, sexy legs! Busy moms… I had time to use a foot scrub. You know. JUST FOR MY FEET! Which I followed up with a foot lotion.
Most days I am lucky to get a shower where I wash my hair and body. Shave? HA! When I finally have to, and just real quick.
As I laid there, I could reflect on who I was. I could be calm in my skin. I could feel happy as a woman in MY body. There was no one there to judge me, need me, compare to me, like me, hate me. NOTHING! Just me! As a mom, it is important for me to take this brief time.
I came out and told my husband how much I appreciated him. I explained that as much as I want to and enjoy having sex with him, I think I would want and enjoy even more, with more days like this!
I was NOT saying, if you want sex you will do this. Sex is not a privilege I give to him for doing the right things. It is something we enjoy as a married couple.
I WAS saying, if I had time to relax and reflect for 30 min to an hour like this a couple of times a week, I will probably want and enjoy it even more! (This statement can be true whether you have a great sex-life or not… surely this would help you relax in preparation for the evening.)
Anyways, my main point- moms need time for themselves. I hear this all the time, but really who has time? James and I don’t always have money to go out on dates, or for me to get away to a spa or anything. Some people don’t have family, friends, or money for babysitters to get away.
Despite all these excuses, if you are married, you should be able to have and make the time for a break. For me it’s the break to shower, or take a relaxing bath, WITHOUT the kids! I’m just honest with James. He comes home and gets to take a shower, usually kid-less, so I ask he return the favor on the nights where that is possible. Some nights there is no time for this, I know that, but it can happen a couple of times a week.
Does your husband already give you a specified break from the kids each day or a couple of times a week? What do you do during this time?