Side note… I’ve been recovering from mastitis still… harder than I thought. I do apologize for not being in the right state of mind to write my blog. Between being ill, and very busy with church business, I have been behind on EVERYTHING! So don’t think I am only neglecting you; unfortunately, it has carried over on to my poor family. Thank you for your continued prayers.
What is the hardest part of the church? That it is made up of humans 
I’m not trying to be mean… just honest! We all make mistakes. We all have choices and make decisions, but at the end of the day, we are responsible to God for how we handle ourselves.
I try to ask myself regularly, am I doing this/saying this to uplift and encourage, or am I doing this/saying this to tear down. It is no secret that I once struggled heavily with anger issues. God has pulled me out of that bondage, and reminds me often, to keep my anger in check.
This means thinking before I speak and choosing my words wisely. It also means wise decisions in choosing who I will allow to “get into my mind.”
I have to ask God, am I talking with this person to find peace and unity within my church, or to plan to bring my church down? It is so easy to get caught up in meetings and groups, to get caught up in conversations, to allow my thoughts to lead me to anger and blame. It is easy as a human to put myself in a place where I focus on the negative or focus on the faults of others, but I have to ask myself, “what good can come from this?” How am I contributing to the unity of my church by doing these things.
The Church is made up of humans. We are all going to make mistakes. It is important to keep each other accountable and in check for these things! The same is true for the Body, not just the Head! When I am approached or want to approach others, I try to remember, how will this help the Church? How will this represent God best?
I also ask myself, what do I know to be TRUE and what is simply told to me through the grapevine. Gossip is such a horrid thing, and I would certainly be lying if I ever claimed I have never been a part of it, but when I step back and look at the aftermath, I live with my actions.
I write this blog today out of complete LOVE! I truly LOVE the Church! I truly LOVE MY church! I want to bring good things forward. In everything I say and do, I make sure to ask and seek out the truth. I ask God to guide me to what is important. To where my focus should be. Do I want to dwell in anger and resentment? Do I want to spread gossip and possible lies? Am I looking to start something that would be better not started? Am I lifting up the Church? Am I standing strong through the hard times? Am I doing MY part to bring peace and unity, where we all can work together?
God, my cry to you: “You hear me! Your see my tears. You see the anger. You know the hurt and heartache. It’s nothing new to you. You are not surprised. Help me to find the common ground. Help me to do my part in creating peace.
“Guide me in my decisions, so that as new people come to the church (especially unbelievers!!!), they will see your love through me and my church! Help me to know what conversations to stay out of and away from. Help me to only listen to those who are looking to move forward rather than dwelling on the past. Help me to listen to those who want to learn from the past as we look forward. Keep me and my actions in check!
Also, remind me to forgive. Help me to look at people through your eyes, in your love. That all people are human and we all make mistakes. Thank you Lord for not leaving me when I failed you. When I made terrible choices. Remind me to offer that same love and forgiveness to others. Amen!”
