Ringing in the New Year with Goals

I have a love/hate relationship with a new year. Love: the fresh start, the idea of endings and new beginnings, and of course a reason to celebrate and throw a party!!! Hate: my kids are getting older… and I guess I am too! Time is going much faster now that I am a “grownup.”

New Year’s eve/day forces people to meditate on the last year, learn from mistakes, and contemplate the changes they want to see in their lives. It’s a wonderful reminder to leave the past behind and look to the future.

To me, Mondays are the same way. Every Monday is a new start for me. If my week didn’t go as planned last week… well, there is always Monday to make a change. This may seem silly to some, but it’s my fresh start. Not as big as the New Year tradition maybe, but still a chance to make a change.

Oftentimes people mock those that make New Year’s resolutions, and I tend to prefer making goals for the new year; however, I think those that choose to do nothing will get nothing new in the year to come. If you aim for nothing you are bound to hit it!

I am going to be real honest with you and let you in on my goals for the new year. Having said that, these goals will take time. They will not blossom overnight. You cannot expect to wake up tomorrow and suddenly have a whole new life. There is nothing magical about January 1st. Some of these goals have already snuck in to our lives recently, but my goal is to make them second nature.

Here we go.

Husband

• Make his lunches more regularly! Wives: Do you make your husband’s lunch? I haven’t been great at this, but what a difference it makes to him when I do! Men LOVE to be taken care of by their wives. What a sweet way to show him you appreciate how hard he is working for your family by preparing him a healthy, hearty lunch to keep him going. And why not add a sweet note in it or a scripture verse to motivate him?
• More SEX! Yeah I said it! What husband wouldn’t agree? Be creative! Change it up! I know it is not always easy, especially if you co-sleep, but it can be done! My goal: every other night, but at most, no longer than 3 day gaps!

My Sons

• Get in the floor with them more! Schedule more play time WITH them in my day!
• Read to them more. Ok… so, I am NOT a reader and this has been HARD for me!!! Schedule times to read each day.
• More outings with the boys. Schedule park time, museum time (esp now that we have a membership!), library, etc.

Family

• Always have a menu planned and have healthier options on the table. I have started menu planning, but sometimes I get off and this just messes me up and causes us to make unwise choices at dinner or by eating out.
• Make Saturdays family days! Go out for picnics, tents in the backyard, walks around the neighborhood. Plan these events each month and make it a casual day with a lot of relaxation! This needs to be our day of rest since we work at the church all day on Sundays.
• Get to bed earlier! Get into bed and have devotionals and read together as a family more.

Me (it’s important ladies! We need to make time to take care of us for our families.)

• At least 15 minutes of workout a day. P90x, Mom’s Bootcamp, a walk, stationary bike ride, just something for at least 15 minutes!
• Schedule to keep the house in order (especially to avoid my husband having to help any when he gets home). Monday: Clean kitchen, toys, and dining room. Tuesday: Vacuum, clean all floors, and change out Scentsy. Wednesday: Bathrooms. Thursday: LiveOps (so no time to clean). Friday: Clean bedroom, dust, change out Scentsy, and menu plan.
• Blog at least once every other day.

Wow that’s a lot huh?!? Again, many of these things I have already been implementing, just want to get more steady with them. I would rather make goals and miss some of them, than to not make any and miss them all.

Make sure to write down your goals for the New Year and refer to them often. The more you see them, the more you will stick to them.

I also wanted to tell each of you how thankful I am that you are joining me in this journey. I am learning so much and I hope you are getting something too. Thank you for reading and for your comments! I love reading your thoughts!

What goals are you making for the next year? What are you thankful for from this last year?

Show Me The Money!

While I was still teaching, I had many streams of income coming in from all different directions. This made my transition to staying-at-home much easier.

Mystery Shopping

This one is fun because a lot of times my family can come too! We use this to eat out after church, go out on dates, get my hair cut, go on fun outings with the family, etc.

One of my only problems with mystery shopping is paying up front and waiting so long to get paid. I work around this by using the money I make from shops to do other mystery shops and continuing from there.

Be careful though! I NEVER pay a site to mystery shop for them. I only use sites that are FREE and send me information regarding available shops. I actually stumbled in to mystery shopping when I received a scam email from one that required you to pay. I searched them on bbb.org and the bbb gave me legitimate sites to go to for mystery shopping! Try there or you can go here to find more information too!

Customer-Service Agent

LiveOps! Guess what?!?! I’m actually doing this right now! I am taking calls in my home and making money (and blogging in between calls)!

Downfalls: cannot work with children around. (I am fortunate that my dad’s wife, Laurie, comes over one day a week to watch the boys! I also work an hour or two some evenings when my husband is home.) Additionally, you are not guaranteed work or pay. You get paid based on the amount of time you are on calls.

If you need the extra income, working from home is the way to go! By doing LiveOps, I can work in the bedroom and hear my children in the living room. I can take breaks to nurse Elias! I stop to eat lunch with them and enjoy some time between blocks. It is much different from leaving for an entire day and being gone and exhausted!

All You listed LiveOps, as well as some other customer-service options from home, in a recent article they did. Check it out here.

Tutoring

This is one of my favorite ways of bringing in money. Why? Because I LOVE teaching and this way I get to do both: stay-at-home and teach. I find jobs many different ways. I have posted some on job boards. You can also use craigslist. I have recently found Care.com. You can post your own ad and people can find you, or you can find people who have listed what they need.

Tutoring is wonderful because it works completely around my schedule. I ask my husband how his schedule looks for the week, and when I can tutor, and we fit it in.

You can also contact schools or districts. Sometimes they hire tutors, or they can give your information out to parents who are looking.

On a side note, I do not keep kids in my home currently, but my mother has and I know plenty of other people who make money this way too. You can use the Care website for this as well.

MLM–Multi-level Marketing

There are MANY MLM companies out there, so BEWARE! Not all MLMs are the same, or even good, for that matter. My husband and I sell Scentsy. We did a lot of research before joining and we believe in the product. We enjoy selling because it is a product we use, so we get it discounted or FREE, and it brings in some gas money each month. So be sure to join something you believe in and use.

Your Own Craft

Now for the fun stuff! I have recently taken up sewing. I LOVE sewing! It has become my craft and I even have a website: www.iParaklesis.com. To make money on something I love, just adds fun to my day, and I can do this with my boys playing right next to me.

There are a number of ways to sell your craft: Etsy, Ebay, craigslist, Facebook, word of mouth, etc.

My husband does yard work, tree trimming, and pool work on the side. He has been doing this a number of years and now has a website to advertise his company, JBGrasscutter.

Find what you enjoy doing or making, and learn to make money! I have many friends who do photography, scrapbooks, wood art, even different foods, and so much more. Whatever you love to do can make you money!

Saving Money

There are numerous ways to save your family money. To start, look at your budget and figure out what you can get rid of to save money. Cable. Extras on a cell phone plan. Sell your car with a payment and pay cash for a car you can afford. Home phone. Internet. (For businesses like LiveOps, you must have both a home phone and internet, but these are tax-deductible!) Etc.

Menu planning can also save you A LOT! Making a plan, and sticking to it, makes sure you don’t overspend on groceries that may go bad. Also, having a plan prevents you from unnecessary eating out. I LOVE using Cozi.com for my menu planning. It is also a great way to keep a calendar for your whole family. They also have an app that is awesome (except that the menu planning is not on it , but you can access your grocery list!!!)!

Couponing is another favorite of mine! It can take a little time, but does save you a ton! I keep a notebook, with baseball card holders, for all of my coupons. I also subscribe to several emails or groups about saving money. They email me deals all the time! Groupon, and similar sites, are my absolute favs too!

Ok, I’ve given you a lot to think on. I feel certain I am forgetting something . What do you do to make your family money and/or save your family money?

I wish I could stay home, BUT…

Shortly after my first son was born, I panicked! I was not working before he was born, but suddenly I didn’t know how we would ever survive if I did not get a job!

A little backwards, huh? I mean, it makes sense that I would freak out. Most first time moms do, and for good reason

Can I be completely honest??? Before a baby, my life was relaxing. Staying at home had a different meaning to me. Suddenly I had a lot more responsibility! Babies require A LOT of care. It was no longer just me at home. I had to do more now. Diapers, feedings, spit up, etc. etc. Much more than I had been doing… especially while I was pregnant!

I’m just telling the truth now. Having a baby around was suddenly a lot more work. So between thinking we “needed” more money, and wanting a break from taking care of the baby, I went back to work. It didn’t take long before I realized how much I hated being away from him. Although he was staying with “family”– first my mom, and then eventually staying at home with Krystle (Bo, as Conner has named her, my best friend who lives with us and adores my children almost as much as I do… so really family)– I still hated leaving him everyday.

Bo got to do all the things I wanted to do: the zoo, park, library, Chuck E. Cheese, etc. She posted all the cute pics. She got to share in his everyday life. I missed all of those little moments.

Don’t get me wrong, Conner saved almost all of his big firsts for me, but it was the little things I missed.

Remember how I said, in my first blog entry, that I didn’t feel like I was a good enough wife? Now those feelings were carrying over to how I felt as a mom. Now that I was working, we were “living” just fine, very comfortably in fact, but what was I stressing over? Not money. Instead it was about my family, the house being in order, dinner, etc.

Was I a good mom? The mom I needed to be for my children? Was I their caretaker? Could they come to me first? Was I taking care of our home?

I had the mindset of a stay-at-home mom, but I was working full-time. I tried to convince myself that my lifestyle and actions with my children were as if I stayed home, but I was not staying home. I was too stressed and tired to be there for my family at night.

During my first year teaching while Conner stayed with my mom, I prayed that James would find a better job: something that offered better pay and insurance, so that I could stay home. I prayed and prayed and prayed. God, please give him a better paying job. Teaching provided double my husband’s income alone. We could NEVER survive without that paycheck unless my husband could match it. Only then could we figure out how to live without his paycheck amount.

God, I know you want moms to stay home with their children, but how is this possible for me? With our house payment, utilities, car insurance, ALL of our school loans!!!, and other bills. I’m willing to give up cable, and we have been smart with our money. We don’t have any car payments and have paid down some of our debt. I will quit as soon as you give him a job that we can live off of!

Isn’t it funny how we know better than God?

No new job, so back to another year of teaching I went, this time pregnant with number two. I knew I did not want to keep working after Elias came, but God still hadn’t answered my prayer.

It was quite a year to say the least (Elias in the NICU for 76 days… another story for another entry). During this time, my mother-in-law introduced me to an amazing magazine called Above Rubies.

Sometimes, God just needs to shove something in our face before we will finally get it! The next magazine that arrived had article after article of women just like me–waiting for God to “finally” provide. That’s when it hit me! God wants me home with my children and He will provide no matter what my husband’s job is. I needed to trust Him and LET GO!

It wasn’t an easy choice, but with faith, I sent the principal an email with my resignation. I would finish out the year, but would not be returning the next year. I had NO idea how we would survive, but God did! And that’s all that mattered.

Within a month or so, God did provide my husband with another job! One with insurance and other amazing benefits, but only a $1 pay increase… um God, $1?

Can I just tell you, since I’ve been home, we haven’t missed one payment! Not one bill! Everything has been paid and ON TIME! Can you believe that?!?! Me neither

God has provided me with side jobs that I can do AT HOME and some even WITH my family, or a few around my husband’s schedule! God has provided my husband with PLENTY of extra side jobs. It amazes me how we make it every month!

Has our lifestyle had to change? YOU BET! Do we eat out as much or as nice as we used to? NO WAY! Have things had to be put aside? YUP! But am I with my boys? YES! And let me tell you, I didn’t realize how much this would truly change our family.

I am HAPPY! I feel more successful than ever! I feel like a good wife and mother! God has taught me sooo much, and continues to daily. I enjoy changing the diapers… it’s a mindset (that i remind myself often!) I love preparing their lunches! It no longer feels like a “job” or inconvenience. I get to go to all the fun outings and see ALL of the firsts! Even the little ones! I take the pictures and post them on Facebook. I get to take care of my family! I’m learning how to teach and discipline my children. I didn’t realize I was missing this by being away so much.

This entry is already way too long, so I will post soon about how we really survive. My MANY forms of income! Every $1 helps. And the ways I save my family money. Are you interested in learning how I make money and still stay home with my kids?

No Crib For His Bed

I have always claimed Christmas as my favorite holiday. While I still adore the celebration, for the obvious reasons, I believe it’s the time of year I enjoy, and, was referring to before. If I want to label it my favorite “holiday,” I think it must be a requirement to call it a tie with Easter.

Doesn’t it make sense that Christ’s birth and death/resurrection be of equal importance. (I realize He had to die for our sins. Some of you may argue this is more important, but really… He had to be born in order to die!)

Anyways, moving on to my real point Christmas!

Having children really changes how you look at Christmas. Before my kids came along, Santa Claus was just a duh. Christmas= Santa Claus, presents, singing, lots of food, fighting over which in-laws you were going to visit on the 25th, Christmas lights, Christmas trees, decorating, etc., etc., etc. What is missing? CHRISTmas! I cannot believe it really took me having children to open my eyes to what I was celebrating.

I’ve struggled the last couple of years with whether or not to have “Santa” at our house. God really spoke to me this year on the topic. Although, thinking about it, I’ve come to realize my issue is more with the emphasis on GETTING presents than Santa Claus.

Now, before you attack me with the “Nothings wrong with Santa Claus, or with getting presents,” please hear me out.

Why do we celebrate Christmas? I’ve done some research and even asked several different people their take on this. So here is my summary (emphasis on MY!)… Believers, many, many years ago, wanted to incorporate Christ’s birth into the pagan traditions they already celebrated. So out came Christmas. A time to celebrate Christ with their families (mass – communion service for Christ, so Christ mass) .

So how about Santa Claus? I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but who doesn’t need a reminder? I could use one! Saint Nicholas “had a reputation for secret gift-giving, such as putting coins in the shoes of those who left them out for him, and thus became the model for Santa Claus… His reputation evolved among the faithful, as was common for early Christian saints.”

You know who explains this best? The wonderful philosophers, Larry and Bob. Yup… Veggie Tales! The experts! If you haven’t seen it yet, you should check it out. Veggie Tales: Saint Nicholas A Story of Joyful Giving… thank you to our amazing Bo for gifting Conner with it this year! I could not explain it better.

They show how Saint Nicholas gave because God had given to him. And, that he did it in secret. It was not about the credit. We should give because we are happy, not because it makes us happy. I LOVE it! Thanks, Bob and Larry.

Ok… WHEW… I’m getting there. Just hang in there with me.

God reminded me this year that I need to focus on celebrating what an amazing gift He sent to us, and on giving to others as He gave (and gives) to us!

I’m not saying it’s wrong to get or give gifts, especially to your own children, but to stress, when times are hard, over getting everything or anything on their “wants list,” just seems crazy to me!!! What if instead we teach them why we celebrate? Or that they are NOT in need of anything? Or that the things they do receive are special and something extra that is done in celebration?

This Christmastime, I was blessed to witness both my dad and grandfather being baptized! What a wonderful gift! The morning they were baptized, my grandparents’ pastor asked the congregation what they used to get for Christmas. Mind you, this is an older crowd. Most answered, “Nothing.” He said, “Exactly, and when you did get something you felt so blessed and were grateful at the gift you had received.” Children are being taught greed these days, since we would rather rack up a credit card bill than tell our children, “This year we cannot afford gifts but we can play games and fellowship with our family.”

Imagine what a gift you could give your child by instead shopping for a needy child or family, and not giving as many, if any, gifts to them. I know it’s now 2 am, Christmas morning. The gifts are bought and wrapped. And again, there is no sin in getting gifts, but I am more concerned with what I teach my children by giving them so much, when they already have SO MUCH!!! If I could explain how blessed they are already, and focus on how we can donate items we already have (especially to make room for the many more they are gifted with by loving friends and family), then I will be honoring Christ in a biblical manner.

I intend to explain how Santa Claus came about, but to have some magical gifts arrive in the night, it’s just not for me. Don’t worry… I won’t condemn you if you do. I won’t shudder at the idea of Santas around your house, or pictures of kids on Santa’s lap. My intent is merely to reveal what God has laid on my heart and remind you who you serve and why we celebrate.

My prayer for you and your family: Have a very Merry Christ Mass!

From the Heart…

For some time now, I have been convicted of my actions both as a wife and a mom. When James and I first married, September 8, 2007, I constantly felt as though I was not a good enough wife.

Was I cleaning well enough? He’s doing most, if not all, of the cooking… does this bother him? How will I learn to cook? Why doesn’t he want to cuddle at night? He clearly doesn’t love me! I am not joking… this is how I felt! Am I doing enough for him… in bed??? Funny story about this for another time. Should I wait on him more? What is my role as a wife and his as a husband??? etc. etc. etc.

I really stressed over this the first year or two… pre-kids. Who am I kidding? I still stress over this. Anyone who knows me, will know I stress too much. Not only does everything have to be perfect, but it has to be perfect to everyone else.

So guess what!!! I have it all figured out now! I am an expert! HA! Yeah, right… maybe at finally realizing that it will NEVER be perfect. Maybe that I will NEVER be able to please everyone! Things can never be perfect because that is all based on perception.

Over the last year, God has really taken my life and changed my heart. Many of the ideas and beliefs were already there. A distant thought in the back of my mind. He has taken those ideas and forced me to form true convictions about how I interact with both my husband and my children. He has laid this blog on my heart and I have finally opened up to this journey. I pray He guides my words.

As a forewarning, I am NOT perfect. I am not claiming to be perfect. This blog is meant as much for me as it is for you, if not more. Be open with me on the process. God may speak things to us that we may not want to hear. I know He has been showing me a lot through friends, families, magazines, blogs and more this last year. Many of the suggestions were difficult for me to hear (and continue to be so)… as I used to “preach” feminism and all my rights as a woman. I have had many life changes as I go from equal rights to God’s advice.

I pray God uses it for each of us and to encourage us through His eyes.

Welcome to our journey…